Tuesday, August 30, 2011

To Change

The idea of change has such a bad reputation. In general people don't like change. So I am here to clear the air about me and my big, fat, elephant in the room of change.

I have changed. I am not the same person I was and my hope is that you will all understand this on some level and be happy for me not ignore it or pretend I am still the same because I am not and I NEVER want to be again.

The gospel of Jesus Christ changed my life. I personally choose to make changes and accept a lifestyle very different from the one I was living. I needed to. I was dieing inside. I was unhappy but had no reason to be. I fought myself every day about this unexplainable unhappiness inside but could not find a solution. I had been given everything...I was supposed to be happy. There was this giant hole in my life and his name was Jesus Christ and his gospel saved me from myself.

This was never Joshua's decision. He never made me join his church. This needs to be a clear understanding.

Please do not tell me that I am the same. My hope is that you can look outside yourself and see that this is not about you. This was about me and my life and the hurt I felt for years. I am not the same. I will not give you the same advice. I will not support the same decisions. I will not ever do many of those things that were ruining my life. but....
I will be your friend better than I could have ever been before.
I will love you unconditionally despite your decisions. I have realized through this all--that actions do NOT make a person, my love for you makes our relationship.
I will be more patient, more positive, more accepting, more understanding, and I will always support righteous decisions that you make. (I promise to try at least)
I will work every single day to change and be a better version of myself. I will not accept the phrase "well this is just who I am" No! I was given the blessing of choice from God and I will exercise my freedom to choose every single day who I want to be, how I want to improve, how I can be different and better.

My goal is to admit my mistakes and apologize. To support those loved ones around me and never let them forget how much I love and support them. To grow the Lord's kingdom. Most of all, go to sleep every night happy with the person that I CHOOSE to be and wake up every morning willing to be even better.

If you want to know me, you must know this. You must be willing to know my story, the whole story.
I am happy. I choose to be happy everyday and proud of who I am and who I have the potential to become.

All my love,